I know you Rowers have been missing some serious milestones in Mr. Rowe's fabulous life adventures. This blogger/reporter/sleuth/assassin apologizes for her leave of absence as I have been abroad on a mission quite unlike any other. But enough about meager ole' me, let's get down to brass tax and our sole purpose of existence; our infallible author, Stuart Rowe. Whilst my galavanting in Spring, Mr. Rowe has been enjoying some fall festivities!

Mr. Rowe has been experiencing some writers block currently. Instead of letting these issues squash him and soil his sound reputation, he has chosen to grow from the natural experience and shop around for some new and organic inspiration. Here he is enjoying some of life's small pleasures and all that Autumn in New Orleans has to offer. He is most definitely the Real Deal 

While I do not support the likes of Dick Chaney, it is obvious Mr. Rowe is gaining back his confidence, endurance, composure, muscle, and intensity of inspiration in this leisure activity. It's almost as if he were Bourne again. 

Well my hands are tired. Live Long Ore Prosper my beautiful Rowers. Tah Tah!

Sorry for the lack of posting lately my beautiful water-logged paddle bearers! This self named P.I has been intensely undercover investigating claims about our beloved saint Mr. Rowe. What I have found is shocking! Mr. Rowe has currently joined the MTV networks new show Trans-form My Crib (brought to you by the producers of Hoarders, Cribs, and RuPaul's Drag Race!) and may possibly be signing on for a second season! This show is projected to be a huge hit. It''s premise? This show follows the journey of its struggling stars throughout the declutteration of their lives as they begin anew. Contestants are not only cleaning out and renovating their actual physical home but their spiritual homes as well! Contestants undergo a sex and home transformation to fit their new lifestyle. Ms. Phoebe Rowe as our beloved writer is now known, is not only a fashionista but also an eclectic collector (one of her most prized possessions is pictured below!) Next on the Agenda for Ms. Phoebe? Who's to say. However, whispers of her being featured on next months cover of Vogue are building to critical mass! Whelp thats all for now folks! In the words of RuPaul (Phoebes Drag Idol), "You better work!"

Ms. Phoebe Rowe on the Set of Trans-form My Crib

One of Ms. Rowe's Most Prized Possessions!

I guess it's that time of the week again friends! I am here to cure your Tuesday blues and update you about the on goings of our favorite teen heartthrob and winner of the Nickelodeon awards cutest smile/butt combination, Mr. Stuart Rowe himself. I feel nothing but pride for what I am about to tell you! Our very own Mr. Rowe has competed in his 15th Little Mr. Pageant! Unfortunately the judges were not on top of their game and Mr. Rowe did not take home the title of Ultimate Supreme for the Sounthernmost Louisianna's Top Little Mr. New Orleans Sexy Muffin Pants pageant. However, he did receive the Giltziest Manboy award and I for one am like a proud Mama Honey Boo Boo. Mr. Rowe was the oldest and most experienced contestant and I fear he did not win because one of the other contestants, I will not name who (*Cough* Oliver) cried on stage and won pity points! Regardless, Mr. Rowe's talent portion blew the entire room away and had me in tears! Not only did he recite an excerpt from his book (no that would be too easy for our hero), he simultaneously sang Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On," via a ventriloquist doll! To say that this was impossible is an understatement and yet Mr. Rowe proves to us yet again, that nothing is impossible for those who spread their wings and metaphorphisize into that which they wish to be! Thank you Mr. Rowe, and may we follow you to Davy Jones' Locker!

Mr. Rowe during the final ceremony!

Sorry Maties! It's been a long week filled with trials and tribulations galore. However, there has been a silver lining! A beacon of hope in this otherwise cloudy adventure! Our glorious novelist and famed hero Mr. Rowe has found his true identity! Mr. Rowe recently went on a soul searching sojourn in the New Orleans wilderness to examine his true self. What he found was astonishing. After spending a full three days in a nudist colony living off of purely waffles and tree bark, he has come to the realization that his true soul lies with another. Mr. Rowe found himself caught between a rock and a hard place (literally for an hour- note: the story of his struggles was later adapted into the movie 127 hours (the time was lengthened for Hollywood effect)). And in that hour he saw a small mouse scurry underfoot and realized that his true persona is/was/always has been Stuart Little. He realized that his love for small things, red convertibles, and cheese was no coincidence! It was a road map to his soul! Mr. Rowe has now adapted his newfound persona and may I just say I cannot be more proud! He has truly embodied his ideal of Metamorphisizing into the person you want to be! Kudos Mr. Rowe (and I am not talking about the candy bar)! May the lesson of Mr. Rowe be the oar to your journeys on the sea of life! Galavant for now my Caterpillars!

Mr. Rowe extending his mind and body whilst his wilderness sojourn

 A Kudos Bar (Mmmm....)

Mr. Rowe encapsulating that which is his true self!

Fellow Rowers I have some staggering news! Hold your breath and never let it go, because this will knock the wind out of you! Our own Mr. Rowe has caught an incurable disease known by its street name as "Da Love Bug, Ya Her'" (I am assuming that this phrase is equitable in layman's terms to "Stuart Rowe has fallen in love. Have you heard?" this is merely a guess though). I was participating in my normal Thursday routine of hiding in the shrubbery outside of Mr. Rowe's house (after my mother and I get in a fight about how her meatballs taste worse then her new "hip" boyfriend Chad looks and she kicks me out of the house for yelling at Chad to stop leaving his boil cream on the floor), when I came across something amazing. Mr. Rowe sauntered into his home, but not alone, he was accompanied by someone that was holding his attention more than his beloved typewriter! As I tumbled out of the shrubbery to peak into the window, I saw them together! Mr. Rowe has found true love in his very own mirror!!!! Yes folks he was oogling and ogling that mirror! He danced with himself, had tea with himself, and shared laughter with himself. My heart soared with joy to see our novelist so inspired, but then sank as I asked myself, "what does this mean for the future works of Mr. Rowe?" If he has found himself so overjoyed and filled with newfound happiness, does this mean his muse will allow him to create his best work yet? Or does this mean something more sinister? Will Mr. Rowe be taking time away from Mr. Rowe's writing, and will the happiness distract from the usual melancholy undertone of his most intricate writing? The answer remains to be seen, and only time will alleviate the dull ache that resides in my unsated heart that longs for another beautifully spun tale by Stuart Rowe. Rowe Rowe Rowe your boats gently down the iridescent tunnel for now Crew!

Mr. Rowe opening the door to look into the mirror and find.........

His muse! Mr. Rowe!

Great news Rowers! Our very own Greek God and the seed that has inspired our Trees of Life to grow "higher than soul can hope or mind can hide" (E.E Cummings, not as great as Mr. Rowe but still pretty quotable), has entered and taken home the gold in the Olympic Selfie Contest! Mr. Rowe is known for many o' things: naked skydiving, birthing baby octopi, swimming in gelatin filled pools, and most importantly filling us, his fans, with purpose and an endless abyss of emotions. However, none of these compare to his latest and greatest feat! Conquering the illusive selfie! They said it couldn't be done, and they were right! It couldn't be done by a mere mortal, however our earthly representation of the Platonic form of a human, has done it! (for those of you who don't know what a Platonic form is.... read Plato and stop wasting your time doing anything but reading) I give you the rare and coveted selfie that won Mr. Rowe the gold for America:

notice the technique of the slight eye cross, followed by a wondrous flaring of the nostrils (both earned Mr. Rowe a record breaking combination 6.7 points)! But what really had the Russian judges ogling this photo was his awkward use of frame and angle! Congrats Mr. Rowe from da Crew! May we aspire to create a selfie as awe-inspiring as this. FLAPADOODLEDOO for now my paddling ducklings!

Sorry for the late post Everyone! I have some exciting news! I have just returned from a classic Wednesday night out on the town consisting of sitting in my favorite coffee shop, enjoying the ambience, and rereading our favorite authors masterful work for the 105th time. If you Rowers have not been shocked by the shear force of wisdom, insight, nausia, wit and excitement that the previous posts have imparted upon your glorious, joyful, tear-filled faces, well you will be now! I was sitting in my normal booth by the window and bathroom, avoiding the glare of the barista (who is upset that I never purchase her heinous concoctions), when I saw something truly remarkable! Our very own celebrity, Mr. Rowe, was exiting the Luigi Theater (across the street from my stakeout vantage point) with a special someone on his arm! Yes you guessed it, Beaker. Of course I did what any sane and devout member of the Crew would do. I jumped out of my booth, threw my novel into the air in a shear fit of joy (unfortunately causing it to knock off a balding man's rather unfortunate toupée), and ran to the couple for an immediate interview. I gathered that Mr. Rowe had attended The Muppets Go to a Bar and Then to School and Get Expelled on Broadway, and had collected more than he bargained for from the performance! Not only was Mr. Rowe treated to a heart-warming tale spun from pure gold, but also found his long lost twin, Beaker! Yes folks! As if the world was not blessed enough by one Rowe in our presence, we have now acquired two of the most beautiful minds of our generation! Well teeteetahtah for now and may Mr. Rowe be the coxswain to the Crew that is your life!

Wow guys its been a real whirlwind so far. We Rowers have just returned from litcon (comic-con for the literarily inclined) and are so excited to share that we saw our favorite writer of all time there! (he beats out Plato, Socrates, and Stephanie Meyer by a long shot). Mr. Rowe was gracious enough to share an excerpt from his next book, whilst he mingled with his number 3 fan (1st is of course yours truly!, and second is our very own Rower Megan!) Bob Saget! Mr. Rowe did not delve into the dirty details of his next book but we can all attest to the fact that he seemed giddy to share!

Excerpt:
"Phillip I dont understand why you will not at least talk to him"
Bartholomew was of the curious sort, always wishing to weigh in on my life choices.
"I will not talk to him, Bart, because he clipped my wings and left me in the rain"
"That was eighteen years ago Phillip! Life is precious and so are our friends"
Bart had no idea about what had truly transpired that gray, sinister morning. Magdolian was beyond my help at this point, and I knew that talking to him would not make one lick of a difference!

I think we can all agree that this excerpt is life changing! No? Well tiddily do for now my Roweing Seafarers and may your wings be clipped only by Apollos love!

So excited to update everyone on our group progress! Today I was lucky enough to sit down with the man we all devote our beach vacations and airplane rides to! We all know Mr. Rowe is of the shy sort, but he agreed to give me the interview of the century! It went a little something like this:
Q: "Mr. Rowe are you aware of how much everyone loves your work"
A: "Yes"
Q: "Why do you think so many people identify with your novels?"
A: "I think everyone can relate to being a little lost sometimes, and people want to be able to fly so birds and butterflies are ideal characters"
Q: "Your books are masterful in that they combine self help and worth with a beautifully entangled storyline"
A: "Thanks"

Well that's all for now folks! Keep up with us on the daily! Right now we are at a staggering number of hits so jump on this bandwagon and follow us!

Wilkommen Rowers!

We are so excited to finally have our website up and running! This is a forum for all of you literary lovers and bookbirds out there (going with the flying motif, made famous by our beloved author) to reflect on how much Mr. Rowes work means to us and how it has instilled within the Rowers a sense of worth and purpose!